Plastic Bag, Drifting Through The Wind

Its hard to change when you've always been a worry-wart, a pessimist, an underdog and a people-pleaser. This has always been my case. And up until now I am suffering from my contagious disease. Second year second semester's about to end and my only goal is to pass every subject. So that, obviously, I could have a good summer and enter the coming semester with no extra baggage from the past. That leads to another conclusion that I still don't have a firm master plan to what I really want to be or to do after 3 years. I'm like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind. But thankfully, I have the desire to start again.

Then I start again because that is what I wanted, right? To finally excel in my studies, to have good relationships with my friends and family, to be responsible and hard-working. But there comes a time when I stop and say to myself, "Wait, holdup holduuup... noooo, not agaaain!" *insert frustrated face* And yes I'm back to my old self. Its sickening and really frustrating. Where's the change that I have been striving for?

Today I have learned that it's not difficult to change. In fact, it is impossible. "Oh, My Gooood!" That is the exact reaction to that fact. But I also learned that change is supernatural. In a sense that it needs some kind of supernatural force or drive or power to enable one to change. And that supernatural being is the Holy Spirit. Its hard to entrust yourself to any other except from, well, yourself. But when things and efforts always become futile maybe it really is time to contemplate and reassess. This is what I learn when I go to church or from my father (who is like our personal, literal 24/7, pastor). Maybe there is something wrong with our heart or there is something wrong with our purpose. From the prayers that we ask to the things that we do.

In Acts 1:8, it says, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth."

This were the last words of Jesus to his Apostles before he ascended to heaven. Now, I value the time I have taken to meditate this. I've seen the Bible in ink and letters most of the time.

I just want to share what I have understood and realized from the passage.

We are now in the world where we debate over when this world will end. Sometimes we make a big deal out of it and then we get tensed or frightened because of our own reasons. In Acts 1, the Apostles also have this problem so they asked Jesus. But Jesus said that it is not ours to know the age of the earth or when things happen or end. Instead, Jesus entrusted his Apostles and the people of Christ to be witnesses for him. Along with that He had given them/us a gift which is our helper. And He is the Holy Spirit.

Its funny to believe in this when we have known that all of Jesus' apostles have once turned their backs on Him. Like, *Peter who have denied Jesus three times while one committed suicide and some hid. But this is what its all about. Everything that happens has a purpose and has a part in God's plan whether bad or good.

From where all of this happened [*Jerusalem] Jesus wanted them to share and spread His Word there. Why of all the places in Jerusalem, where all of the people knew who they were and what they did? That is the point. When people knew who you were it would be easier for them to see the changes that God will do in their lives once they received the Holy Spirit. 

So According to Acts 1:8, His disciples' received a power that is the Holy Spirit, a purpose that is to be witnesses for Him and for them to spread the Word of God, and a mission plan that is to share the Word from Jerusalem (where we are), to Judea (our nearest reach), to Samaria (people/places that do not agree with us or do not like us), to the remotest parts of the Earth.

It really is great to know all these things, that the stories and events in the Bible have real-life applications even after 2000 years. It is hard to share the Word, but we owe to the next generations the passing on and the spreading of the gospel as present day disciples and witnesses of Jesus. We cannot effectively serve God or live our Christian life by our own strength. He will enable us to live life as true and effective witnesses of God to the people watching us.

I badly want this to be eminent in my life. I want to be part of God's master plan because I know he uses ordinary people. I want people to see the changes in my life as God works in me every day. I need to stop being part of things that will pull me away from Him and hurt others feelings. I need to stop reading materials that will not glorify Him. I need to stop wasting my time in the Internet but instead be enthusiastic in things that will honor Him. And to stop worrying but trusting my life and plans to Him. Because my responses, appearance, behavior, and disposition, tell others of my relationship with Jesus.

[Do you know all of Jesus' Apostles? They were Peter, John, James, Andrew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, Matthew, James (son of Aphaeus), Simon (the Patriot), Judas (son of James) and Matthias (who only became an Apostle after Judas Iscariot died because of his suicide. But has been a witness since Jesus' baptism to His ascension)]


^From CCF's DGroup material Vol.13, No.7: The Last Words of Jesus

(c) blackswandive